Catching Up...

Calling All Scrapbookers

Scrap Booking Memories will be donating some of the proceeds of the October Issue of their magazine to Love Your Sister. So if you are into craft, feel free to pick up the Pink Issue from Newsagents, Woollies or Coles from October 4 and 20 cents from every issue sold will be donated to LYS. The Pink Issue will also contain an article about Love Your Sister, so happy reading!

Thanks so much to the ongoing support of Scrapbooking Memories, and a huge thank you goes out to the masters for making such a beautiful and personal gift, all for women they don’t even know!

If you are into scrapping and would like to show your support to a magazine that supports Love Your Sister, please head to their facebook page and chuck them a like, you might just love what you see there!

Never Forgotten

In my last blog post, you saw that Love Your Sister lost two close friends, Moira and Josie, both to breast cancer. On Friday 11^th July I attended Moira Lye’s funeral. Moira herself found that one of the most confronting parts of having terminal breast cancer is attending funerals. Moira and I were both Canberra Mums who have done a lot of advocacy and fundraising around the breast cancer issue. Sam mentioned to me how much he thought we had in common, and the similarities brought it home to me at her funeral. Attending the funeral of someone who has died of the same disease that you are living with is very confronting, not only was I sad for the loss, and sad for her family, but I couldn’t help but think about my own fate, and picture my family and friends, and most of all my little boys in the same situation. We continue to think about Moira and Josie’s families and wish them some peace during this hard time.
Thanks to everyone on our Facebook page for sending thoughts, prayers and condolences to their families and for showing your love. Even people who had never met Moira or Josie were saddened by their passing and it was very touching for Sam and I to see such a show of support, and I am sure it brought some comfort to their families at a difficult time.

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Mornington Secondary College 

Mornington Secondary College is one of the high schools that Sam and I attended while we were growing up, and they have been a huge supporter of Love Your Sister. Their drum corps performed at the launch and return events, when Sam left and returned from his epic ride, adding much pomp and ceremony to both events. The textiles class made huge banners and flags for the events, and they vowed to match Samuel $1 for every kilometre he cycled through fundraising events at their school and in their local community. So while Sam has been pedalling, they have been busy fundraising, and last week, they presented Sam with the grand total at a school assembly held for Love Your Sister.

Through many events, Mornington Secondary College raised a massive $16 491!!!!!! This fundraising has all been driven and co-ordinated by the students themselves and Sam and I couldn’t be happier or more proud. Thanks so much to MSC and to the Mornington community in general who altogether have raised over $51 000 for Love Your Sister since February 2013. Amazing!

Every year Mornington Secondary College holds a Presentation Ball for the Year 11 Students. This year Sam and I were invited along and the debutantes were presented to us! Little ‘ole Sam and Connie eh? I had never been to a deb ball before, as I had never done my deb myself.

There were 54 couples, the boys looking handsome and rather dashing in their suits with tails and white gloves, and the young ladies looked a picture, so beautiful and elegant in their pretty white dresses. Each couple came out onto the stage and were announced, then the partner walked down the stairs and awaited hand out for her, then they walked slowly up to us and while they did, the school captains read out their interests, what they were studying and their future aspirations. I felt honoured that so many of the Students mentioned that Love Your Sister was their favourite charity in their summaries. Then the deb was presented, she did a curtsy, and her partner who bowed. We were so honoured to be in the role, but I’m not sure who was more nervous, them or us. They all did so well, I was so impressed with the rituals and dances and how they performed them.

The whole room was set up with Love Your Sister pink sashes around the chairs, pink chocolates and programs on the tables; the lads all wore Pink neckties and had pink roses in their lapels, the ladies all had pink bouquets. The principal, Sarah Burns, did a beautiful speech about Love Your Sister at the opening of the evening. After I mentioned in my speech that I had never done my deb, the school captains cooked up a little scheme. They arranged to have Sam and I presented at the end of the formal presentations. It was so cute and lovely, and while I was being walked down the dance floor on Sam’s arm to be presented I thought “Tick”. It was never a bucket list item, but the students found a way to give me an experience I would never forget, and now I have formerly presented. What a heart-warming experience.

Then we did a dance, which was absolutely hilarious, ‘cos neither Sam nor I know how to dance, then we swapped partners with some of the debs and their partners, and they danced properly while Sam and I fumbled clumsily around the room laughing awkwardly. It was so much fun. I would never have thought that I would be presented to society, fancy that!

Just before we left we were presented with some lovely gifts, The fabrics class had made me a gorgeous rainbow coloured quilt, and a bag to go with it. I love it, it is so bright and cheery and beautifully designed and crafted. It’s going to be my hospital quilt, because I like having my own blanky and pillow in hospital, it makes it feel less sterile. Thanks to Gene, Georgia and the fabrics class for such a beautiful and personal gift.

Goodbyes

Today is a sad day. Today it is hard to find the silver lining. It is dark and the tears are flowing. It doesn’t feel right to smile. Today I found out about two women dying on Saturday. They were both friends of Love Your Sister. They both had breast cancer.

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Moira Lye

Moira featured on the Love Your Sister TV Special. She lived in Canberra, wife to Greg and Mum to 5 children, the youngest of whom are twin boys aged 6.  She did not take her cancer diagnosis lying down. Moira was a determined person and she was willing to squeeze every last moment out of life, every precious experience and each little smile or cuddle with her children.
And she was selfless. Although she was terminal, and knew that there was no cure for her illness, she worked hard on fundraising and advocating on breast cancer issues. I am in awe of what Moira achieved in this arena, she really made a difference, and did it all with such humble grace.
Moira was the sort of Mum every Mum wants to be. Gentle and fun-loving, patient and caring, but balanced and intelligent in her approach to parenting.
Sam and the crew got to spend an afternoon with her, and they all came back raving about how inspirational she was, how incredibly life affirming it was to meet her, I really felt like she was what I should aim to be. A great mother. An advocate for breast cancer issues and someone with peace about her prognosis.

Josie Gaylor

Josie is wife to Kevin and Mum of 2 grown up children. Josie’s sister Jane contacted Love Your Sister while they were making arrangements for Josie’s funeral, when it became clear after fighting breast cancer for 13 years, that she was coming to the end of her time. Josie wanted to make a difference, she wanted to make her funeral meaningful for the future, and chose to ask her friends and family to give a donation to breast cancer research in lieu of flowers at her funeral. Jane contacted us to ask for a collection tin.
Obviously Sam was touched by her gesture, and given that she lived in Melbourne, he wanted to meet her. So they teed up a meeting and Sam went along to visit her at Cabrini palliative care a couple of weeks ago. You may be familiar with Josie, because she and Sam put a post on Facebook when they met in the hospice. Sam had a blast hanging out with Josie that evening, and she helped him face his fears of hospitals and end of life care.

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Without knowing them well these women have touched my life. I am in awe of their peace at the ends of their lives, and their selflessness. These two women were remarkable in their own ways, and have left big holes in the lives of the people who knew them best. I know they will be sorely missed by their families and friends.

I send my love and thoughts to Josie’s and Moira’s families and friends at this very hard time of loss and mourning, and thank them for sharing them with the world. I am so grateful for the way they touched my life. Thanks for being a part of Love Your Sister and for showing me what life is all about.

Whenever we experience a death of someone we know, even if it is not someone close to us, it calls to mind questions of our own mortality. It causes us to question if we are living life to the fullest, if we appreciate the beauty and love in our lives. We automatically think things like when was the last time I told my sister that I love her?

Death is a profound part of everyone’s life, and when the grief is at it’s purest and harshest, it can distort the way we normally perceive ourselves.

I have been incredibly lucky lately. My cancer has been stable. It is responding to treatment after being very aggressive and non responsive in the early stages of the disease. So it went from running rampant, to being under control, something none of us expected. I was so close to death a few times that my family were called in. My kidneys and my brain shut down. I was in ICU on machines and drugs that were keeping me alive in the hope that I would get better with support, and eventually be able to support myself again. I remember many doctors and nurses telling me that they were doing everything they could do to keep me alive, and to keep fighting.

Being that close to death, and living with a terminal prognosis everyday has caused me to live my life in the present and make the most of my relationships, because I have come to realise that that is all we have that matters in this life. But even with my diagnosis I have become remiss. I have stopped scrapbooking. This was number one on my bucket list. If nothing else, I want to leave lots of memories, photos and stories for my children to remember me by, and to give them lots of information about their formative years that they won’t be able to ask me about later if they get curious.

I am in a lot of pain tonight, on a lot of drugs and needed to take a bath to relieve some of the discomfort, so the bath is not the place for photos obviously. But tomorrow I vow that I will sort out some photos, write a note in the boys journals, or do a little bit of scrapbooking. I will do a little bit of memory saving for my kidlets. I will also give them an extra big cuddle and tell them again how much I love them.

Thank you Moira and Josie for reminding me to make the most of each moment. May you rest in peace, free from needles, nasty drugs, scans and bloodtests, surgery and endless appointments.