Spoke to Sam on the phone after all was said and done in Melbourne. It was great to have so much news for him, about Mornington Secondary College, The Sisterhood Cocktail Party and meeting Sophie Weston. Love Your Sister unites us in so many ways, because we are working on the same project, but ironically is also separates us, and sometimes I miss him so much.
It’s not just missing him that is hard sometimes, though, it is also that I feel like he is able to experience all the things we planned together, while I am back at home, having to stay close to a hospital. I have missed out on Uluru and the Ord River, which have been the hardest, as they are things I really wanted to do in my lifetime, but also things we talked so much about while we were planning this massive adventure.
Sam said on the phone that he thinks of me every day and sometimes he feels like he has told me things, that he hasn’t because he is telling people he meets along the way instead. So he took this opportunity to tell me these things he tells people on the road. That he thinks of me every time it gets hard to pedal. That he hates that there is no cure for my cancer and that it makes him mad as hell. He feels helpless, and realises from time to time that no matter how far he rides, how much money we raise or how much awareness we spread, my cancer will still not go away, it will still kill me, and that makes him feel very empty inside. But on the upside, we are doing something, at least we are trying to make a difference, and we are doing it while I am still well enough to enjoy, and follow what is happening.
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